*: A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband) -
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the…
(Source: drkellyflanagan.com, via sicaneko)
by your grace
Nothing in this world can satisfy me.. sometimes, we have to be wounded for our hearts to seek Christ
To this day, there are moments when my soul cringes at the thought of a person I thought was once a close companion. The day when I realized long ago it was all a facade, that I was just holding onto a shell even during the last days of the friendship were the most eerie because I knew what was happening but I didn’t know how to let go. I cringe because of their words, actions, and judgement. I cringe because the worst was brought out of me. I cringe because I felt like a monster. I cringe because I felt like I was a mistake. I cringe because of the deepest wounds that cut me and all I could do was fight back…failing to be a loving sister or daughter of God I was supposed to be…
but worst of all, what hurts me most is when I fail to forgive. I consider myself a forgiving person until God reveals to me that I’m not so good at it. The bitterness and anger catches me off guard and I want to scream in their face. I want to scream, “Look what you did! Look at my wounds!!! Do you see all this?! You’re no good!! You don’t even care! You never did! You lied! Disregarded me in every possible way! Ignored and belittled me!”
It reaches a point where it becomes physically unbearable.. and all I can do is cry out to my Lord to take it all away. All I can do is surrender and ask to help me forgive and to actively choose to forgive and love even those who hurt me most, to not harden my heart from bitterness.
Looking back at my life, what they say is true… people I once held most dear to me hurt me the most, because I cared most about what they thought more than anyone. I let them into my life and allowed myself to be vulnerable.. I don’t care what people think of me for the most part but when it comes to people I’ve exposed myself to, I wanted to feel affirmed… but in the end, it just hurt and I wondered, what’s wrong with me. Yet in the midst of darkness and stupid self-pity, a small light appears, a growing glow and my tears start to dry up. I see Jesus and he beckons me to come, that He will be my best friend. That He will defend me and love me for who I am, broken and in pieces and all. He tells me I am beautiful and my heart is precious, that He won’t give up on me.
And with that Love, I can forgive.
Gained so much more than I have lost. This morning, my soul sings and smiles with praise and thanksgiving for You are good! I love you God! You heal the pains I know not of, send the Holy Spirit to groan and pray on my behalf. For you provide me with courage and terrorize my fears, my Protector and Lover of my soul. I can most definitely testify that You are for us, not against us :) All Praise and Glory to You!
Gods ways are perfect. Even if I don’t agree or understand my circumstances, it is probably better than what we wanted so how can I help but be thankful. If we fully trust in His character, His goodness, how can we be anything less than thankful.
…that tulip dress I had in my head #doodletime #doodlingongrids #sketch
Fill me up God. May this weekend be filled with clarity and restoration. I am yours and only yours
Lead me the way out of this prison of lies
shut up. i just got reblogged from what looks like the official sagmeister “the happy show” tumblr! <3 :) love his experimental pursuits!
Loving and inapropro wall plugs! (at MOCA Pacific Design Center)
Lego blocks (at MOCA Pacific Design Center)
#Sagmeister (at MOCA Pacific Design Center)